It is 06:00PM on a thursday evening : Bangalore sky looks like a painting , so colourful and beautiful is it waving me bye with a smiling face ? Yet as I wheeled my suitcase out of my apartment, my mind was clouded with confusion and chaos, wondering if I could really enjoy it. But if there is slight chance at getting something that will make you happy then do it, do it for yourself—and so I did it.
Leh had been on my heart for the last 10 years, From the day I heard about it from my colleague—the day I saw the landscapes through his phone’s screen—I wanted to visit. But back then, I was young, dumb, and broke and since then I have travelled far and wide but this Leh trip never happened. I strongly believe that as much as I want to visit a place, the place itself must be willing to have me and until then, it will never happen, Maybe now was the time and I had to do it for myself, because when the mountains call, I should go.
It is 04:00AM on Friday morning at Delhi Airport, and I stare at my expensive brown liquid named coffee and reconsider if I should have just slept through the weekend in my bed. But what is self-love if you don’t put yourself in questioning moments and head towards your boarding gate anyway? With Coldplay singing in my ears, there I go..
“Come up to meet you, tell ya I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
And tell you I’II set you apart
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, Lets go back to the start
It is 07:00AM and as I land at Leh airport after a sleepless night, I realised my phone network doesn’t work. Again, I start to doubt myself because what am I without my phone and internet—and maybe ChatGPT?
But I decided to do it anyway, the way people did a decade ago—asking around for information, relying on people. Trusting the Ladakhi soul, I headed towards my hotel hopping into his car with my English, a bit of Hindi and he with his ladakhi we spoke for 15mins in a way only god could understand. Either way, it felt comforting and safe and his kind smile melted something inside me. After 24 hours, my mood lifted, and my eyes opened to the beauty of the place and its people.
Now I loose track of time, day and place, there is a unique kind of charm and calmness that the mountains exude—a stillness that consumes over you when you are ready to listen to it. Maybe it’s like a song: a song you can only hear if you truly listen the way you should.It simply engulfed my soul and I felt an overwhelming calmness and joy. For the 6 days I spent there, it made me forget myself, my home, my blessings , my burdens, and everything else.
“Maybe I was drawn to reflect on life—on how to appreciate even the simple things, like taking a good breath at high altitude, finding a restroom with a door and latch, and Finding COFFEE”. It has happened only once before, in the heart of Phobjikha Valley, Bhutan. And when it happened again I was more than willing to pause, listen, and let myself go with the echoes of the mountain like the waving prayer flags.
And every day, every moment, every passing hour, I was touched by kindness and happiness
- Like someone I met 5minutes ago helping me wear a knee guard to make sure I comeback safe in one piece.
- A friend sitting in Germany in a different time zone inquiring if I was still alive and safe.
Can I say I went to Leh and saw God, Not the deity my parents showed me but the god I know and I believe , the kindness from people whom you know nothing about and that is my faith, the faith that makes me believe in humans and life – Anbe Sivam.
Along with the people What Magic Does This Land Have? The scenery keeps changing at every turn, there is this greener grassland nestled among the walls of vast sand rocky mountains and in the middle of this parched landscape runs a tiny stream grazed by a horse, just as I was wondering how, I realise it is just like how love quietly finds and grows on us on an ordinary day.
If you ask me today what was the best part of this trip it was the night I spent in Pangong lake under the amazing star studded sky.
“If people look at the stars every night, I bet they will live differently.” — Calvin and Hobbes
This quote has been my wallpaper for more than two decades, and I live by this, Stepping into the dark night alone like a snail, my mind was blown by what a blessing it was to see the sky in its raw element, I simply wished I could sleep below that blanket of stars and keep getting lost in it but the biting cold quickly reminded me to check if my right hand was still attached to my arm.
Looking at my pictures, a friend told me I looked the happiest they have ever seen me. And of course I was, I have been to the mountains, and for the first time when the plane took off, my heart skipped a beat, my stomach dropped because I knew I was leaving a piece of myself behind.
For a short while, I got to step out of being Mathu and simply be a traveler, life just felt so simple, you slow down, you don’t have to be anywhere in particular, you notice the little things. Sometimes it’s the place, sometimes it’s the people, and sometimes it’s just one tiny moment with someone:
- A friendly taxi driver who welcomed me with kindness.
- The lady who got excited seeing my turquoise nail colour.
- A hotel owner showing his produce he grew in his own garden.
- An old woman running a roadside restaurant asking me to eat more and more.
- A playing child, or a sleeping dog or A lazy yak grazing by the riverside.
- Sunrise viewed from a plane window.
- Sunset from a hilltop temple with the hums of om mani padme hum.
Or, most truly, it is all of the above and much more.
The one thought that kept coming back to me was how I wish I could be a mountain goat lazing happily here. Excuse me, as the yak looks bigger and a petite-sized goat would suit my frame much better, i go with the goat. But then, I realise it is only the goat that will know its struggles as I pack my bags to deal with my corporate chaos and city life I promise myself to slow down and live life one day at a time because in the long run nothing really matters.
Here I am back to time and reality on this sunny afternoon, it is 02:00PM in Mumbai airport, scribbling on my notebook, completely lost in my own world. It had been two years since I picked up a pen to write and I didn’t even realise I was writing until a curious stranger stopped by and asked what I was doing. Thanks to the mountains, I couldn’t stop writing until I touched down at Bangalore airport .
The Mondays I hated gave me this Monday to romanticise life with the mountains. As I go back to deal with my reality ,I will promise myself every Monday that I will take myself back here to the mountains to let them sing for me, and may be next time I will be gentle on her curves with the throttle under my palm, singing along with the mountains.
I am going to miss you, Leh… miss you like you are my favourite song, my favourite book, my favourite cup of coffee and I will come back to hear you sing for me again. Grateful for this life, and endlessly grateful for the people I am blessed to meet in this journey.
And it is 08:00PM on Wednesday evening at Bangalore airport as I board my cab home, Coldplay sings
“Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Nobody said it was easy
It is such a shame for us to part
I am going back to the start..
Until next time..!!
